


Fernweh

by CakeAndCrows



Category: Poetry - Fandom, poem - Fandom
Genre: Loss, Other, Parent Death, Poetry, poem
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-30
Updated: 2020-03-30
Packaged: 2021-02-28 17:54:03
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23391286
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CakeAndCrows/pseuds/CakeAndCrows
Summary: A poem about my late father, and feeling homesick for a place I've never been to.





	Fernweh

My hand caresses the shapes of the stars.  
I frame Orion with my thumb and recall us admiring it.  
Beautiful indigo skies, glittery white cosmos above.  
I wondered if that was what heaven was like.

Years of our stomachs falling through the pits of ourselves.  
The heaviest times, waiting on a breath for you to vanish.  
But when you did, an owl’s wing could be heard.  
The silence was so vast I could not breathe.

What I remember of you is tainted by bile and salt.  
Your dreams and wishes poison me.  
I fall short of them year after year,  
wondering why I should lift my head to the sky anymore.

The stars are not beautiful anymore.  
They do not remind me of heaven.  
They remind me of you  
and how far you have been taken from me.

How far I have walked without you.  
The ghost of you lingers when I am weak  
and I feel the very core of my mind recoils.  
At one time, you were part of my foundation.

Now my heart is repairing after all that has been done.  
I strive and do what I can to overcome what ills me  
But every step I take dares me to turn back  
I long so desperately to surrender to sleep 

To see the stars above me  
To feel Orion standing on my thumb,  
I dream again  
Of where I might find you as you were.


End file.
